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The Three P's of Internet Safety:

                                                 by Mark Hager

Every time I talk to groups about Internet safety, I almost always
say the same things. I tell the tales of children being seduced by
the whiles of pedophiles online. I give example after example of
the dangerous behaviors that I've witnessed online by kids. And, I
speak about my conviction that Internet safety has to start at
home. After doing this time after time, I invariably get the same
response: "What can I do?"

Before I can address that question, you have to address why they
have to ask that question. One problem that many parents are
facing today is that their kids know more about the online world
than they do. They are growing up with it; we didn't.
Unfortunately, what people don't understand, they fear. This lack
of knowledge increases the rift between the problem and solution.
On the other hand, you have today's child who, in many cases, is
perfectly comfortable in this digital world. They may not
understand it all, but they don't have to; the Internet has become
an extension of their social lives. The fundamental issue with
this fact is that children aren't given a rule book for the
Internet. And, more times than not, don't have someone there
showing them what is appropriate and what is not.
All that being said, the answer to the original question is what I
call the "Three P's": Preparation, Prevention and Personal Commitment.

Preparation

Like any initiative, Internet safety requires a good plan. In
order to prepare yourself and your family, you'll need to do a few
things.

Educate yourself.

Get online and do some reading. (Go to www.google.com and type in "Internet Safety"...you'll be well on your way.) If you don't know what you're up against,
how can you fight it?

Talk as a family about Internet safety.

Be open and honest.

Having already educated yourself a little bit, go
into it committed to saying the difficult things. Talk about
pedophiles, improper conversations, pornography and the like.

Develop some rules for Internet use. 

For families with kids that are a little older, maybe 10 or so, I suggest
using a family usage agreement. (You can download the PDF from my website http://mysafefamily.net/images/agreement.pdf  )  Whether you use that or not, make rules and discuss repercussions. And no matter what happens, stick to your guns!

Prevention

We've heard the saying that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." There are several things you can do to immediately begin protecting your family on line.

Make sure the computer is in a public place.

Never let a computer in a bedroom be connected to the Internet.

Make a habit of looking over your kids shoulders while they are online.

Drop in on them unannounced. It could be very educational.

Use monitoring software to see what your kids do online.

Many parents have a hard time with this idea for one reason or another. Invest in some monitoring software. Preferably, get one that not only records keystrokes, but also captures
emails and instant messaging conversations. You decide whether to tell them or not, but whatever else you do, make sure you do this.

Keep the conversation flowing about Internet safety.

Keep reading, and let your kids know you are continuing your education. Tell them about what you read. Make Internet safety dinner conversation if you have to. Just keep it up!

Personal Commitment

This may go without saying, but all the planning in the world will
do little good without the determination to see it through. As
parents, we know that some lessons take years to get a foothold in
young minds. Internet safety, like anything else that is
worthwhile, can be trying and difficult at times. Stick to your
guns, keep up your education and don't stop. As frightening as it
is, you could be the only thing standing between your kids and a
pedophile.

In closing, I'd like to say something a little more personal;
something I've told as many parents as would listen. It's
irrelevant whether you believe that there are predators online
trying to get at your kids; it's a fact. Even if you do believe
the problem is real, it's irrelevant whether you believe the
problem is as prevalent as the media would have you believe; it
is. After years of research and being in the trenches, I know that
pedophiles are a blight on our society and leave the broken
hearts, minds and emotions of children in the wake of their
perversion.

Do the loving thing...talk to your kids about Internet safety.

*About the Author*
Mark Hager is a father, Internet safety advocate and I.T.
professional. You can find more about him and his work at
http://www.mysafefamily.net